CHRISTMAS FIRSTS

Ellie's first Christmas was filled with all sorts of first. Her first nativity (see previous post), her first Ellie box, her first Christmas morning, her first rice cereal and her first cold :-( boo for congestion and coughs that lasted over 2 weeks! Aside from she and I being sick we had a great Christmas and were spoiled ROTTEN! I must admit that although I enjoyed the Holidays I also struggled. My moments of enjoyment were intermixed with moments of stress and chaos...welcome to motherhood I'm told. And as wonderful as motherhood is, it is very challenging. I think it is the biggest learning curve of life..at least for me and my 28 almost 29 years. Feelings of joy and feelings of guilt play a tennis match in my mind. Joy from Ellie...her smiles, her eyes, her curiosity, her snuggles, her giggles, watching her learn and do new things...everything about her. Guilt for wanting a break and time to myself. I found myself wondering if I'd ever have a holiday where I could just sit down, relax and play a game with family without holding her, needing to feed her, change her, worry about her, etc. I know that probably sounds absolutely ridiculous and extremely selfish...hence my feelings of guilt. I don't know how to describe it. Although someone else holds her, or plays with her for a time it isn't really a "break" because I never stop thinking about her and what she needs and when she'll need it. And there are somethings that only mom can fix...at some point she has to eat and I'm the only one with the boobs for that job. I had a bit of an inner struggle wondering why I was feeling the way I was and if all holidays from this time forth would be this way. 'Is it part of being a mom or is it just me? Is there something wrong with my attitude? Why am I being selfish? Why can't I be happy to sacrifice more for her and put her needs first?' were questions that played over in my mind. Perhaps the most distressing question was the one about sacrifice...because of course I love her and would do anything for her...but sometimes that sacrifice comes more out of duty than happiness...then I feel guilty because I want to feel happy to give all I am and have for her. I don't know if any of that makes sense. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE El. I realize I have soooo much to learn and that there are and will be daily adjustments throughout life. In looking back at my first holidays as a mom the thing I have learned is to keep it simple and not try to do too many things. I've realized that when I think I can do it all...and do it by myself (because I hate to admit I can't do things or that I need help) that's when I start to feel more stress and less joy. Now on to the JOY of the holidays...because they really were full of JOY!

CHRISTMAS EVE

There is a tradition at the Dewey house known as "The Ellie box". My grandma Dewey's sister, Luella (who we called Aunt Ellie and who my Ellie is named after) always brought a box of gifts over on Christmas Eve. Gifts such as tights, socks and ornaments became yearly tradition we looked forward to out of the box Ellie brought us. When Aunt Ellie passed away my mom decided to continue the tradition of the Ellie box. (THANKS MOM!) Year after year we have had the box without fail. It always arrives from "the great beyond" via the UPS man who is working Christmas Eve. As we are all around eating, playing games, etc. the door bell rings and the box makes it's way into the family room. The presents are distributed. We still receive the tried and true "originals" from Ellie like ornaments and socks. But the Ellie box has also evolved. Certain white elephants and gag gifts tend to make their appearance year after year. It is a tradition that we LOVE and look forward to. Because of the Ellie Box Christmas Eve is the bigger celebration at the Dewey house than Christmas day. I was so excited for Ellie to have her first Ellie box experience!

Here she is looking at all the presents that arrived in the Ellie Box

Opening presents

"I think I'd rather chew and slobber on my presents."

She LOVED all the new things to look at and play with

The "Ellie Box" with mom, dad and Ellie

THANKS DEWEY PARENTS FOR A GREAT CHRISTMAS EVE!

CHRISTMAS MORNING

After our Christmas Eve festivities we made our way to the Carlson house. Ellie did great and slept all night long despite her sickness and sleeping in a different place. She won't remember but she woke up to a room FULL of presents. She of course was more interested in the wrapping paper. We had a great Christmas morning complete with yummy breakfast to top off all the spoiling. Ellie had her first rice cereal for her Christmas breakfast, just a bit mixed in with her milk to introduce the taste, and she chowed it down. One week later on New Years day she ate the real deal...rice cereal (stay tunned for that post)

Are these all for me?

Ellie and aunt Bryndee

Daddy helping El open a present

Our first Christmas morning with our sweet baby

Although Ellie is only 5 months and we told grandparents that she wouldn't need much...she was spoiled crazy and brought home quite the haul for her first Christmas.

Ellie and all her Christmas spoils

We were THRILLED to get so many books for El. As you can see she also got tons of cute clothes and lots of toys.

Here she is enjoying her new activity mat

Once again...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU mom's, dad's and grandparents for a WONDERFUL Christmas. We know that you sacrifice so much in our behalf to provide so much for us! We love you!